God, Are You About to Do That Thing You Do?
Time is flying.
About a month ago, I decided to fully commit to telling my story—the story of how I spiraled into a suicidal depression, and how music saved my life.
I set-up a page to help me raise funds. In two weeks, we’ve raised $2,000. But we’d need to raise money three times as fast to reach our goal. On June 1, if we haven’t raised the money—it’s back to the drawing board.
I don’t want to go back to the drawing board.
I suck at drawing.
I know that at the last minute, $16,000 could appear. That’s the kind of thing God does sometimes. I’m afraid that some are looking at my constant tweets and posts in that way: “God will make it happen”. I imagine He will. I imagine He’ll make it happen with every person who decides to become a backer.
Will you help me tell my story?
Dunkin Donuts & Empty Tombs…
Years ago a cup like this one made me cry…
Sitting in the lobby of my college dorm with my girlfriend, I felt that somehow this empty cup from Dunkin Donuts meant something—besides the fact that the bliss of my caramel iced latte was no mas.
After a few minutes of me gazing at this piece of trash, as though I expected it to refill itself, or—better yet—to start speaking, my lady decided to humor and interpret my epiphany to me.
She said, “The sin is gone, but the residue of the sin is still there.”
This may all sound very silly to you, but what she said broke my heart.
She was right.
I saw myself in the glass—still burdened down by all of the mistakes I’d made up to that moment, still stirring up guilt, shame, and condemnation for myself. I constantly sang about how God’s love washes every sin away, yet all the while feeling like I was covered with layers and layers of some thick, sticky, once-delicious film of mistakes—the residue of my sins. I didn’t want anyone to see that film on me; or worse, to let anyone get so close as to have that film rub off on someone else.
I still drink iced lattes; and today, I somehow looked down at this empty cup and remembered that conversation from years ago. I am perhaps more aware than I have ever been of the fact that I am a sinner, but I no longer feel dirty. Instead, I feel covered in the grace and love of God.
Isn’t that what this weekend is all about?
As we celebrate the resurrection, we remember God’s promise and invitation of new life. I remember the words of Jesus, “Blessed are those who mourn,” in context, He is talking about those who mourn over their sins, “for they shall be comforted”. Comforted because the Kingdom of Heaven is open for them as well. Nature is awaking from the sleep of winter—the birds are singing, the flowers are in bloom, the air is growing is warm, and we are stepping out of the darkness of our imperfect past (even the very very recent past) and into God’s marvelous light—the promise of new life. So I no longer cry when I think about the mistakes I’ve made, I rejoice in how wonderful the love of God is.
Taking Down My Music
As I prepare to begin production on my new album, I’ve made the decision to take my old music down from my website and social networking sites. You’ll still be able to hear them on Pandora, iTunes, and Bandcamp. But, I’m very excited to begin working on these new songs—and since this project is going to be such a new direction for me, I want to prepare a place for them. I’ve been working on the Kickstarter page for the new album, and if it gets approved, I’ll be posting that as early as next week. I’m excited to go on this journey with you all. Thanks for your support.
Preparing to Kick Start…
As I ride the train back to NYC, recovering from last night’s performance and partying (we danced till they turned the lights on and kicked us out the lounge), I don’t even know where to begin. For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out how I might adjust my diet to fund my dream.
It’s time. Time to do something great—not cool, not good, cure, nice, interesting, but great. For about a year now, I’ve been talking about something I feel compelled to do. But now, I feel that it’s something I simply have no choice but to do—tell my story. But how? I finally know. I’ve begun writing a book and working on a CD, to tell the story of how I nearly gave up on life, and how I recovered.
Since it’s been announced on the web, and at some prominent events; since I’ve talked about it with friends, family, and strangers; it’s time to start blogging about it and just put it out there. This November, I want to release my first book and full-length album together. Not because I think I’m going to sell millions of them and change the world, but because I simply must. I have to do this so that this ache to share what God has done in my life will stop nagging me.
But the cost of making it as excellent as it can possibly be has been a constant hurdle for me—a hurdle I told myself I would knock down with 1/2 of my annual salary this year if I have to. I am still willing to do so, but people have been reaching out to me about investing in my dream. Well, stay tuned; because I just finished my second draft for a Kickstarter initiative to finish this project. I just know that I have 12 songs that could save a life, and a story that could really inspire, uplift, and compel people towards a passionate and meaningful life. I want to share that with the world. I hope you’ll help me. I’ll start raising funds at the beginning of April.
Now That the Show is Over…
We did it. We sang. We danced. We had cake.
For over year now, I’ve been saying “I want to tell my story”. I had written 14 songs to engage one of the darkest seasons of my life, and to talk about how I fought through it with the help of my friends and my faith in God. Last night, The Hopeless Romantics put on a show that I believe is bound to reach bigger stages and other countries.
Then you go back to your studio apartment, and eat noodles, and wonder when next you’ll have money…lol! At point, I’m not wondering how to get from point A to point B. We’re at point B—with great songs, and a great band. Now it’s time to capture the experience and share it with the world.
By the summer, I’d like to have an album recorded—or at least a single released. I need to turn that into a real goal. Coming soon.
Becoming Better (Day 10): Post-It
I am aware that I’m posting these days out of order. I should be caught up today :-). You can see here that I’ve started posting notes on the set. These are “moments” that I’m planning to help make this more than a set of songs—an experience. I’m writing notes about how we’re transitioning between songs, what I’m going to say and when, what we’re gonna’ do for the audience, all that kind of stuff. I’m hoping to get this done this week, so that I’m clear on the flow of the experience before our first rehearsals.
Becoming Better (Day 11): Pimp My Keytar.
This is Selena. She’s the best of both worlds—part keyboard, part guitar. My friend Eric suggested that I give Selena a make over. I accepted. So, my friends and I stayed up till 2AM giving my keytar some flare—gold and white keys, and drawing all kinds of random things on the face. Now to make sure I can make her sound as good as she looks. CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO VIEW THE PHOTOS OF TRANSFORMING MY KEYTAR :-)
Friday. March 9. Sugar Bar. 8PM. $10
Becoming Better (Day 9): Doing My Part
9 days ago, The Hopeless Romantics confirmed the date for our first show of the year. Friday, March 9 we will be celebrating my birthday at Ashford and Simpson’s Sugar Bar at 8PM. I meant to include you guys in the process of getting ready, but the first few steps were so time consuming that I couldn’t find time to blog. But here we are, 3 weeks away. I’ve made made demos of each song, confirmed the musicians and venue, made flyers, and begun promoting. They’re reviewing/learning the tunes, and now it’s time to do my part—to do more than lead the band, look cute, and call the shots, but become better by March 9.
There they are, all nine of them. In times past, I’d assumed that I knew how to sing what I’d written; I’ve grown since then. So today I begin studying my songs—at least the ones I plan I to sing at my birthday show. As I look over these pages, I can’t help but get a little nervous. I have a new story to tell, these are it’s chapters. For some odd reason, they intimidate me. And my daddy always taught me to let no one intimidate me; so, I guess these songs and I are gonna’ have to wrestle for the next 3 weeks, so that—at my birthday show—I can sing them as someone who has mastered them. I guess writing them wasn’t enough.
Becoming Better (Day 9): Doing My Part
9 days ago, The Hopeless Romantics confirmed the date for our first show of the year. Friday, March 9 we will be celebrating my birthday at Ashford and Simpson’s Sugar Bar at 8PM. I meant to include you guys in the process of getting ready, but the first few steps were so time consuming that I couldn’t find time to blog. But here we are, 3 weeks away. I’ve made made demos of each song, confirmed the musicians and venue, made flyers, and begun promoting. They’re reviewing/learning the tunes, and now it’s time to do my part—to do more than lead the band, look cute, and call the shots, but become better by March 9.
There they are, all nine of them. In times past, I’d assumed that I knew how to sing what I’d written; I’ve grown since then. So today I begin studying my songs—at least the ones I plan I to sing at my birthday show. As I look over these pages, I can’t help but get a little nervous. I have a new story to tell, these are it’s chapters. For some odd reason, they intimidate me. And my daddy always taught me to let no one intimidate me; so, I guess these songs and I are gonna’ have to wrestle for the next 3 weeks, so that—at my birthday show—I can sing them as someone who has mastered them. I guess writing them wasn’t enough.
#MusicMonday: ADELE/BRITNEY SPEARS Mash-Up of Toxic & Rollin’ in the Deep. Wicked.
toxic in the deep - an adele/britney spears mash up
HOLY SHIT this is brilliant. I don’t know if i like it but it’s freaking brilliant.
Source: SoundCloud / djbumper_k
